Turning the Parents Green? It's Eco Child's Play!

Thanks to Jennifer Lance for this thoughtful review on ecochildsplay.com:

http://ecochildsplay.com/2008/05/20/eco-kids-books-how-to-turn-your-parents-green/

Funny to think of Jennifer sitting in the wilds of northern California, in her off-grid, self-built house, surrounded by kids running about and playing American versions of the universal child games, reading this odd little book. Which was written, incidentally, in a south Bristol terrace built a year before Victoria died, with a view over the trees and rooftops and lots of sky in the window. In the summer evenings a sound like a cow snorting tells us a hot air balloon is overhead, the pilot turning on the burner to get that balloon over our hill.

It isn't what you'd call wilderness round here. Our wildlife is as urban as we are: the frogs in the pond and the swifts in the sky are city-dwellers, so are the herring gulls which started moving in when the Clean Air Acts were passed forty-odd years ago. The gulls are big, aggressive and unafraid, and they love it here. No one has any idea what to do about them, though the city has tried some strange and wonderful ideas, such as stealing the eggs and replacing them with fakes. They've tried introducing predators like peregrine falcons to scare them away, but the gulls are used to predators and don't take any notice. They've tried culling them, but more just arrive to take the vacant rooftop apartments.

We're entwined with nature, even here in the city, and all of our actions will have consequences we could never imagine.

Can You Really Make Paper From Elephant Poo?

Yesterday I went to the opening of an extraordinary new building at the Green Shop, near Stroud. It's a funny sort of place, hidden away behind a petrol station on a B-road. You'll be driving along and there's this Murco gas station, then you look again and behind it there's a funky wooden building with a grassy roof and more solar panels than you could shake a stick at.

The Green Shop has been going for twenty years or so, and when you walk in from the garage you can see this evolution. First, there's a typical garage shop, with sweets and newspapers - only the herbal tea selection is unusual. Then you go into a bigger space with lots of Green goodies on display, from books and gadgets to washing up liquid and wholesome beauty products. They have solar battery chargers and little machines for making logs out of waste paper. It's pretty cool.

Then you go through a doorway and into the Glorious Green Future. The new building is light, airy, super-efficient and all the rest. There are displays of Green paints (other colours available) and rainwater harvesting gadgetry and solar gismos.

The Great Green Jonathan Porritt snipped a ribbon to open the new building in front of a happy crowd of future-makers, and he said A Few Words. He talked about other people around the country who were in a similar line of work - finding exciting new ways of doing things and laying the foundations of a low-carbon economy.

By coincidence I was reading something last night about Greens and the economy. I've already said that I'm not a great shopper, and the writer of this article seemed to be talking straight at me when he said it was our duty as citizens to shop a lot and keep the good old global economy going.

It's true that in the old days Greens tended to be a bit sniffy about shopping, but those attitudes are disappearing fast, along with droopy sweaters and Compulsory Muesli. Nowadays it's about where you choose to shop. Do you trail around Toys-a-Saurus or pop into your local toy shop? Do you follow the herd around Tuskos or get a veg box/visit a farmer's market/buy what you can find in the High Street?

At the Green Shop and places like it shopping isn't a chore - it's a joy! You can discover new ways of doing things, find brands you've never heard of and get inspired. I bought a little notebook with paper made partly from elephant dung. Elephant dung! Every time I look at it I picture a great big pooping pachyderm, and my day is made that little bit brighter.

How One Kid Turned Their Parents Green

I couldn't quite believe this when I read it. Someone at the Exeter Express and Echo had the brilliant idea of giving a fourteen year old a copy of How to Turn Your Parents Green and the licence to use it. Sure enough the kid set about doing just that, although it seems as though the poor parents were already doing better than most.

I'd love to reproduce the whole article here but I don't want to interfere with anyone's copyright so here's a little bit:

"Next, I am going to look at the water. I think we all do things like leave the tap on while we do our teeth. This is probably the only thing that I can think of we do that really wastes water.
"As I can't exactly watch my parents when they are in the bathroom, I have to take their word for it that they aren't leaving the taps running.
"My mum is the worst culprit for leaving the tap on when she cleans her teeth. The book says to fine anyone 25p if they leave the tap on while brushing their teeth. I think it came to £2, before she got it into her head that tap off good, tap on bad. So a miracle happened when she turned the tap off when she brushed her teeth. Well done, mum."

Unfortunately the author of the article isn't named (perhaps because he or she is under sixteen), but it's fantastic. For now you can read it at:

www.thisisexeter.co.uk (enter "turn your parents green" in the search box)

Coconut Jet Fuel and the Icarus Moment

The idea of a plane powered by coconuts sounds quite funny, but when I read about this in the papers the other day it didn't make me laugh. Instead it made me think of Icarus, the unfortunate flying boy. He tried to fly too high and melted his wings, confirming the view that people ought to stay put on terra firma and not act like gods. The Greeks had a word for this sort of behaviour: Hubris. In their myths people who put on airs and graces were guilty of hubris and generally came to a sticky end. Prometheus is another example.

Cut to 2008 and people are concerned about the environmental impact of cars and planes. We want to go wherever we want quickly, but oil is getting more expensive and our journeys are releasing ever-increasing amounts of carbon into the atmosphere. I don't claim to be an expert Carbon-cruncher, but wiser heads have pointed out that carbon released high in the atmosphere causes more trouble than the same amount released at ground level. Yes, we're back with Icarus...

Airlines are attracting more and more customers but they're not enjoying the bad publicity. So a certain British businessman, who owns an airline, hit on the idea of putting biofuel in the gas tanks of a 747. Of the jet's four tanks, three contained ordinary jet fuel, while the last had a mixture of 80% jet fuel and 20% fuel made from coconut and babassu palm oil. Apparently 150,000 coconuts were used, along with an unspecified amount of palm oil. I'm no mathematician, but that sounds like an awful lot of coconuts to provide a small percentage of one airplane's fuel.

The entrepreneur in question described the flight as 'historic', and perhaps it is. Perhaps this was the moment when the human race finally took leave of its senses. The Icarus moment.

Biofuels are made from living plants, which absorb carbon as they grow. The idea is that, on balance, a car or jet running on biofuel emits less carbon than one using ordinary fuel. Groans point to this and say, Here is the future of transport! And that future is bright leafy Green!

What they never mention is that all these plants - oil palms, rape, wheat - have to grow somewhere. Land which might have been used to grow food or left alone for wildlife has to be cleared and planted with biofuel crops. These are not cosy little farms but vast plantations run by big companies that want to make as much money as they can - what they do is called Green because people have this obsession with carbon, but isn't even remotely Green. It's hugely destructive. Oil palms grow in the tropics, which means rainforest is being cut down and burned to make way for them. The oran utang is losing its home so that people in Europe can put biofuels in their petrol tanks and feel all virtuous and Green.

And now people want to power jets with coconuts! This isn't Green, this is Gruesome, Grisly Groanishness of the first order. It's unbelievably stupid. By contrast, Icarus was just a kid who forgot where he was.

Green Freedom

How to Turn Your Parents Green is going places. Copies should be appearing in Greenish shops near you, and could well be heading across the Atlantic soon. More importantly, we were attacked by one of those blogs that aims to protect the good citizens of the world from a Government-backed Green Conspiracy. We're obviously doing something right!

But this kind of reaction is a good reminder that the Green world is still small and quite self-contained. Most people have some idea of what global warming is, and many people love nature and want to help birds and animals. But those same people tend to react badly if you make practical suggestions that don't fit with the Groanish philosophy of MORE CHEAPER and MAKE LIFE EASY.

It's the principle of the guy stuck in rush hour gridlock, complaining about the traffic. He hates the traffic, but he'll defend his right to sit in it because it's what he does and what he knows. Changing the way he travels might involve changing his whole life, and who wants to do that?

Greens have a habit of knowing better than everyone else what's good for them, and nobody likes a know-all. Especially a know-all who is also a party-pooper. It's always amazed me that a movement which is all about promoting happiness should have such a reputation for being worthy and not much fun. It always seems to be about having less and doing without. There's a sort of Puritan ethic that most people don't like at all.

To turn parents and others Green I think we need to stop making people depressed with Carbon Footprints and all that, and start making them feel that Green is a better alternative, for them, personally. Not just for future generations or people in far-off lands or creatures that live in ponds, but for them and their families.

As you read this, brilliant Green minds are at work, trying to work out how to do this. But for now, perhaps we could spend less time telling people how to live and more time demonstrating - like someone showing off a new hoover - the pleasures of a Greenish life.

Review from Obviously.ca

Book Review: How to Turn Your Parents Green
By Kayley. Posted on 7:00:00 am - Wednesday, January 30, 2008.

Presented in a poignant and witty way, How to Turn Your Parents Green tells the tale of the Greens versus the Groans in explaining the effects of Ghastly Global Warming. In targeting an often-forgotten, but very powerful, audience, author James Russell reaches out to “kids age 8 to 80” and shows them how to take control of the state of their current and future environment, namely by influencing their parents, caregivers, and teachers to change their behaviours.

How to Turn Your Parents Green begins by discussing the current state of the Groans, and comparing them to the Greens. The Groans represent those people in today’s society who fail to think about the environment when making choices, whereas the Greens are environmentally-aware individuals, whom we should all aspire to emulate.

“Look at Dad. He’s obviously been enjoying some festive cheer. Now he doesn’t feel too great. His feet are cold because blood scarcely reaches them, so he demands more heat and chomps another packet of chocolate digestives. Green Dad keeps trim by raking leaves, walking to the shops, and riding a bike to work. His heart pumps happily, so his feet are warm and he doesn’t need the heating on.”

In this UK-based saga, Russell teaches kids how to become Eco-Warriors and to hold the older generation responsible for their actions, by having them sign the “Glorious Green Charter” and imposing necessary fines while acting as “House Rubbish Inspector” and keeping an eye on “Water Wasters”.

How to Turn Your Parents Green covers all the range of areas in which environmental choices can be implemented, including travel, shopping, the importance of buying local, electronics, and how to influence your teachers to become more environmental. With a sense of humour that pervades How to Turn Your Parents Green, Russell provides many examples of Groan stupidity when it comes to the environment.

At one point he writes, “Once upon a time, a TV was either On or Off. Then someone invented Standby and now TVs and all our other appliances burn energy twenty-four hours a day, wasting millions of pounds a year. But for what? Surely a TV which is Off is just as ready for action as a TV on Standby- all you have to do is push a button, for Heaven’s Sake.”

At another point made is that, “[p]lums grow like crazy in Britain, but nobody wants them. Blueberries don’t grow here at all, and everybody loves them. If Blueberries were meant to fly, they’d have wings. Welcome to the world of Groan logic”.

These witty lines make sense on many levels and teach kids environmental lessons without talking down to them. Russell does a great job of breaking down often hard to swallow environmental information into chunks that are easily digestible. He provides simple solutions for big problems and teaches everyone can be a powerful instrument of change. Readers are asked to “imagine if every child in the country channelled their Pester Power in the service of the Glorious Green Future. Imagine if, instead of whining for DVDs, everyone griped and grumbled about organic carrots or environmentally friendly washing powder”. He also highlights the power of new communication, stating “Email is a wonderful thing. Nobody will guess your age from an email. You can write to newspapers, complain to Council, take part in planning protests and express your opinions on consumer websites and forums, just the same as an adult.”

Russell’s final lesson resonates with Kermit, children and adults alike: “It isn’t easy being Green. We’re only human, after all. But if you follow Groan philosophy you’ll be unhappy, stressed, overweight and, quite probably, under water.”

How to Turn Your Parents Green is great if you have parents, or friends, or happen to know people. I certainly learned a lot and enjoyed a hearty chuckle at the same time!

Look out! It's the Carbon Weevils!

One of the aims of How to Turn Your Parents Green (how I wish I'd given it a shorter title!) is to inject a bit of humour into the global-warming-mass-extinction-oh-no-we're-all-going-to-melt thing. And I'm happy to say we're part of a growing trend. Yes, there are still plenty of tedious books and websites where people drone on about lightbulbs and recycling without so much as a smile, but some great comic minds are at work dreaming up wonderful new ideas.

My favourite is the Carbon Weevils, a short film made by madcap theatre troupe Forkbeard Fantasy. It's shown as part of their hilarious show Invisible Bonfires, which is about global warming, but you can also see the film by itself on Youtube or You Tube or whatever it's called - you probably know better than me.

The link is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEuUDmwZ8a0

At least it should be. Sorry if it's someone doing a silly dance instead.

Viva Greenpeace!

It's hard to be positive when you come across stories like Goodbye Froggie. That doesn't mean you shouldn't read them. You just have to read them, think a bit and then do something. No one's expecting you to go charging around the Southern Ocean like the rainbow warriors of Greenpeace are doing right now. There is, as they say, more than one way to save a whale. Or a frog, come to think of it. This is what 'How to Turn Your Parents Green' is all about: direct action you can do at home.

Take the poor frog. In this green, wet country of ours there used to be lots of frogs, toads and newts. Witches didn't have to look far when they needed a bit of amphibian for a spell, they just looked in the nearest patch of weeds. There were ponds and streams everywhere, full of green, slippery creatures.

The modern witch has to look much harder, because there are less amphibians, and there are less amphibians because there are fewer places for them to live. Our growing towns and cities cover land with tarmac and bricks and concrete. We use strimmers and weedkillers to get rid of vegetation. Even in the countryside you have to look quite hard for a pond because people have filled them in.

So what can you do? Here's a clue: in our tiny city garden we have anything between five and ten frogs. They live in the flowerbeds around the world's smallest pond, feasting on the thousands of slugs that live in the garden. They're protected from local cats by the thick, messy foliage that we never cut back. We don't use any poisons. In fact a lot of the time we don't do much. It's a bit of a jungle, but paradise if you're a snail, a slug or an urban frog.

The gardening chapter of 'How to Turn Your Parents Green' has lots of tips for the greener gardener, so why not check it out?

What does Green mean?

It's a tricky one, isn't it? We're always telling each other we should be Greener, but does anyone really know what this means? I have an idea in my head, but I doubt it's the same as yours. For instance, my Green vision isn't limited to worrying about Carbon. I'm not sure that all our attention should be focused so narrowly on this one element, because it allows accountants and technical people and marketing whizzkids to dictate how we think about changing the world for the better.

If you're obsessed with Carbon you can't think rationally about nuclear power or dams across the Severn. Of course this suits big corporations just fine, because a thinking public is not good for business. After all, if you think in broad terms about being Green you soon realise that the most important Green qualities are THRIFT (ie not wasting stuff), MODERATION (ie not consuming too much), SELF-RELIANCE (ie doing things for yourself) and CRAFT (ie making and doing things rather than passively consuming them). If you have these qualities you will have a small Carbon footprint. You will have lower Carbon emissions than other people. You won't need to waste any of your precious time thinking about this incredibly tedious subject.

But can you think of a business that wants its customers to be thrifty, moderate, self-reliant and crafty? What about the government? Our leaders want us to be healthy and reasonably content, but they also want us to consume. They want us to buy a lot of everything. For the economy to keep booming we have to buy more this year than we did last, and if we're Green we won't.

Carbon is a good get-out for government and business. Think about it. If you're a business person you want people to keep buying stuff, but there's only so much a person can buy. So you keep creating new products and new markets, and this is what's happening with Carbon. Instead of buying less, people are buying more, only they're buying stuff that seems to be Green because it involves less Carbon floating about the place. Biofuel is a classic example of this, as discussed in How To Turn Your Parents Green:

Don’t be Fooled by BioFuel
Car owners, manufacturers and petrol companies are always looking for ways to seem Green, and biofuels are the New Big Thing. Instead of powering cars with the energy from long-dead plants (ie oil), biofuels are made from plants grown for the purpose – crops like wheat, oilseed rape and oil palms. The idea is that the growing plants consume as much CO2 as the car engines will emit, but does this make biofuels Green? Not in the slightest. So how can you be a Green driver? By riding a bike instead

Don't get me wrong. I'm nervous about Global Warming and I know that we need to change our ways. But when you're thinking Green, have some imagination. Have some vision. Conjure a great life. The future needs hard-working, thoughtful, creative people, not a bunch of Carbon-crunchers.

Thank you, Treehugger.com

Well, news of 'How to Turn Your Parents Green' seems to be spreading. It's a curious fact of modern life that a book should be impossible to find in our biggest local bookstore (but try finding anything at Borders without a pirate's treasure map), yet instantly available online.

Treehugger.com posted a fantastic review yesterday, which is now doing the rounds. Here in Bristol, England, I'm beginning to find that parents aren't quite so friendly... Apparently some of the pushier kids are holding them to ransom for low energy light bulbs. I guess it's quite unusual for an adult to arm children against other adults, but these are desperate days. While the news is full of stuff about international summits and all that Al Gore-type blather, our everyday lives are becoming less and less Green.

Everything that comes in the mail is now wrapped in plastic. Weekend newspapers have their insides similarly packaged. As supermarkets compete with each other for the badge of Most Organic, the amount of packaging on their products keeps increasing. People keep driving more, flying more, wasting more.

This isn't just about global warming, this is about environmental destruction on a casual, everyday scale. Everyone's talking about global warming as this single issue that technology can fix, but what use is a cool desert? 'How to Turn Your Parents Green' is about life choices. Here's a bit of the last chapter:

Live Green
The future of the world is in your hands. OK, so there are a few billion other people with a say in it too, but your choices and actions will affect the course of history as much as anyone else’s.
However your parents live their lives, you are free to choose your own course. Which is it to be: Groan or Green?
1. Do you want to use up the planet’s resources, or conserve them?
2. Do you want people to suffer in the cause of your cheap stuff, or to live comfortably like you?
3. Do you want to watch life on TV, or take part in it?
4. Do you always want to listen to music on an MP3 player, or learn an instrument and play it yourself?
5. Do you want to experience the world through a car window, or at your own pace, under your own power?
6. Do you want hedgehogs and bumblebees to disappear, or to flourish?
Of course it isn’t easy being Green. We’re only human, after all. But if you follow Groan philosophy you’ll be unhappy, stressed, overweight and, quite probably, under water.

So instead of More, Cheaper! try

LESS, BETTER!

Instead of Make Life Easy!

MAKE LIFE FUN!

Interview from Venue Magazine

What's 'How to Turn Your Parents Green' all about then?

It’s about a war that’s being waged in sitting rooms, bathrooms and kitchens up and down the land. In gardens and patches of wasteland. In supermarkets and on the streets. On one side we have our heroes, the Greens. On the other their enemy, the Griping Grumbly Groans.
Your Groan is the average-to-lazy modern adult human, who lives according to two simple rules: More, Cheaper and Make Life Easy. Your Groan moans about the traffic but insists on driving. Your Groan hacks down every weed in the garden then wonders why there are no butterflies. Your Groan slumps about the house in a T-shirt with the heat blasting. Sound familiar?
The aim of the book is to encourage the young and the young at heart to confront their Groans (parents, teachers, housemates) and force them to turn Green. There’s a Glorious Green Charter backed up by a system of fines established on the same principles as the old-fashioned swear box.

Where did the inspiration come from?

My daughter brought home a poster about saving Siberian tigers, which she’d made at school. Her painting showed a kindly, sad-looking tiger that reminded me of Bagpuss. I thought, this extinction business is making her sad and wistful, but her generation need to be angry. They need to be cross. They need to get us adults by the cojones and say, OK, that’s it, enough’s enough!

Who's it for?

Do you have parents? Then it’s for you. Our obvious target audience is kids aged 8 and up, plus their long-suffering parents, but there’s a lot in here for people who care about global warming and want to do something for themselves. There are some sophisticated ideas in the book as well as a few facts – one or two might even be true!

What do you hope people will get/experience from the book?

I hope they’ll chuckle. I hope they’ll get a kick out of Oivind’s cool illustrations. I hope they’ll feel as though they can seize a bit of control over what’s happening in the world. I hope they’ll choose Green over Groan.

Isn't there a bit of a surfeit of preaching, eco-championing books on the market at the moment? What makes yours different?

I hate preaching. I have a big problem with your puritanical, humourless Green. This book looks at the classic Green subjects from unusual angles, and from a slightly mad perspective. You’ll read about pedal-powered TVs and discover why teachers love to laminate. You’ll fall in love with your milkman and run away from growbags.
Best of all, ‘How to Turn Your Parents Green’ encourages younger readers to take action - to hit parents where it hurts by making them pay for Groanish behaviour. Come to think of it, the more eco-warlike members of any shared household could draw up a Glorious Green Charter and fine people who chuck cans in the wheelie bin.
The truth is, most Green books rely on the good will of readers. This one is built on much firmer foundations.

Was it hard to research? What was you starting point?

I’ve been writing about Green subjects for a long time, so it wasn’t so difficult to get hold of the information. There are books and websites packed with facts and figures, dos and don’ts, and ways to change your life. What I wanted to do was present the information in a way that was accessible, fun and surprising. Doing that was difficult.

Which bits were hardest/easiest/most fun to write?

Getting the tone right was tricky. Then I read ‘Matilda’ and thought, I know, I’ll take some tips from Roald Dahl! The most brilliant moment was when I hit on the character of the Groans – overweight, hedonistic, self-centred adults whose overwhelming laziness and desire for an easy life lies at the heart of our social, economic and ecological woes.
For some reason the section about Energy was the hardest, I think because it involves Carbon, which is not an easy subject to be witty about. Just the word Carbon makes me want to rush out and drink lots of cider.
On the other hand, I really enjoyed doing the chapter on turning your garden Green, because it gave me the chance to rant about the hideous blight of decking and promote Low-tech Gardening Solutions.

There is a serious message behind it all isn't there?

The book starts off talking about global warming but develops into something much wider in scope. There’s a very important connection between environmental troubles and social problems like obesity, but we tend to talk about them as separate issues. I’m interested in the wider subject of ecology, not just global warming.
But ‘How to Turn Your Parents Green’ is primarily a call to action. Yes, sabotage that patio heater. Stand guard over nettle patches. Give packaging to the supermarket manager. Make a fuss about those cycle lanes that squirt you into heavy traffic when you least expect it. Don’t eat blueberries. Flush less. Dance more. Pester for the Planet!

It looks beautiful - are you pleased with the illustrations? Where did they come from?

When I saw Oivind Hovland’s pictures for the first time I had to rewrite half the book because my text didn’t do them justice. Oivind is Norwegian but lives here, so I suppose that makes him a Norstolian, and he has a peculiarly Norstolian vision of the world that comes through in his strange and wonderful pictures.
He did the most fantastic cover illustration for the Bristol Review of Books, showing Chatterton and a wrecking ball, so the Esteemed Publisher signed him up. Which was rather brilliant.

Are you a Grumbelicious Groan, an Eco-Worrier or a Lean Mean Green Machine?

Like many people, I’m a bit of a mixture. Yes, I’ll squidge rotting cucumber out of its plastic sheath into the brown bin, and yes I ride a bike whenever I can, but in other ways I’m quite Groanish. I refuse to buy products which are vastly overpriced because they’re being marketed as Organic Chic, and I can’t bring myself to give up having a car. As for being an Eco-Worrier, I’m afraid that’s my natural condition.

What's next for you?

I’m going into hiding to escape the mob of angry parents outside my front door. To placate them I suppose there’s always the sequel: Parents’ Revenge – Now it’s the Kids’ Turn for the Green Treatment! (the title needs work).

Interview by Joe Spurgeon, November 2007

How to Turn Your Parents Green

It's horrible and it's happening - How to Turn Your Parents Green is about to hit the shops. Parents - run and hide! Kids - prepare to save the planet!

Here's the Introduction:

The weather’s gone weird. The polar bears are anxious. Ghastly Global Warming is here. Every day there’s some new thing to worry about, but don’t panic. Help is at hand. Yes, someone’s about to save the planet and guess what? It’s you.

Only you can do it, because only you can make the culprits change their ways. Only you can nag, pester, bug, torment and punish the people who are merrily wrecking your world. And who are they? Who cranks the heating up so you can hardly breathe? Who drives everywhere? Who chucks out mountains of Revolting Rubbish? You? Your friends?

Meet the Groans. They may grumble about the traffic and gripe about heating bills, but grown-ups have got us into this mess and they’re too busy goggling at the TV and booking exotic holidays to sort it out.

Only you can make those Groans behave because only you can make their lives a misery if they don’t. We’ll help you draw up a Glorious Green Charter for them to sign, and show you how to punish them – oh yes – if they refuse to change their Grumbelicious ways.

So don’t be an Eco-Worrier, be an Eco-Warrior. And turn your parents Green.

How to Turn Your Parents Green
by James Russell
illustrations by Oivind Hovland
edited by Richard Jones
published by Tangent Books
ISBN-13: 978-0955352096
price: £6.50, and Amazon has a deal on it right now!