What's 'How to Turn Your Parents Green' all about then?
It’s about a war that’s being waged in sitting rooms, bathrooms and kitchens up and down the land. In gardens and patches of wasteland. In supermarkets and on the streets. On one side we have our heroes, the Greens. On the other their enemy, the Griping Grumbly Groans.
Your Groan is the average-to-lazy modern adult human, who lives according to two simple rules: More, Cheaper and Make Life Easy. Your Groan moans about the traffic but insists on driving. Your Groan hacks down every weed in the garden then wonders why there are no butterflies. Your Groan slumps about the house in a T-shirt with the heat blasting. Sound familiar?
The aim of the book is to encourage the young and the young at heart to confront their Groans (parents, teachers, housemates) and force them to turn Green. There’s a Glorious Green Charter backed up by a system of fines established on the same principles as the old-fashioned swear box.
Where did the inspiration come from?
My daughter brought home a poster about saving Siberian tigers, which she’d made at school. Her painting showed a kindly, sad-looking tiger that reminded me of Bagpuss. I thought, this extinction business is making her sad and wistful, but her generation need to be angry. They need to be cross. They need to get us adults by the cojones and say, OK, that’s it, enough’s enough!
Who's it for?
Do you have parents? Then it’s for you. Our obvious target audience is kids aged 8 and up, plus their long-suffering parents, but there’s a lot in here for people who care about global warming and want to do something for themselves. There are some sophisticated ideas in the book as well as a few facts – one or two might even be true!
What do you hope people will get/experience from the book?
I hope they’ll chuckle. I hope they’ll get a kick out of Oivind’s cool illustrations. I hope they’ll feel as though they can seize a bit of control over what’s happening in the world. I hope they’ll choose Green over Groan.
Isn't there a bit of a surfeit of preaching, eco-championing books on the market at the moment? What makes yours different?
I hate preaching. I have a big problem with your puritanical, humourless Green. This book looks at the classic Green subjects from unusual angles, and from a slightly mad perspective. You’ll read about pedal-powered TVs and discover why teachers love to laminate. You’ll fall in love with your milkman and run away from growbags.
Best of all, ‘How to Turn Your Parents Green’ encourages younger readers to take action - to hit parents where it hurts by making them pay for Groanish behaviour. Come to think of it, the more eco-warlike members of any shared household could draw up a Glorious Green Charter and fine people who chuck cans in the wheelie bin.
The truth is, most Green books rely on the good will of readers. This one is built on much firmer foundations.
Was it hard to research? What was you starting point?
I’ve been writing about Green subjects for a long time, so it wasn’t so difficult to get hold of the information. There are books and websites packed with facts and figures, dos and don’ts, and ways to change your life. What I wanted to do was present the information in a way that was accessible, fun and surprising. Doing that was difficult.
Which bits were hardest/easiest/most fun to write?
Getting the tone right was tricky. Then I read ‘Matilda’ and thought, I know, I’ll take some tips from Roald Dahl! The most brilliant moment was when I hit on the character of the Groans – overweight, hedonistic, self-centred adults whose overwhelming laziness and desire for an easy life lies at the heart of our social, economic and ecological woes.
For some reason the section about Energy was the hardest, I think because it involves Carbon, which is not an easy subject to be witty about. Just the word Carbon makes me want to rush out and drink lots of cider.
On the other hand, I really enjoyed doing the chapter on turning your garden Green, because it gave me the chance to rant about the hideous blight of decking and promote Low-tech Gardening Solutions.
There is a serious message behind it all isn't there?
The book starts off talking about global warming but develops into something much wider in scope. There’s a very important connection between environmental troubles and social problems like obesity, but we tend to talk about them as separate issues. I’m interested in the wider subject of ecology, not just global warming.
But ‘How to Turn Your Parents Green’ is primarily a call to action. Yes, sabotage that patio heater. Stand guard over nettle patches. Give packaging to the supermarket manager. Make a fuss about those cycle lanes that squirt you into heavy traffic when you least expect it. Don’t eat blueberries. Flush less. Dance more. Pester for the Planet!
It looks beautiful - are you pleased with the illustrations? Where did they come from?
When I saw Oivind Hovland’s pictures for the first time I had to rewrite half the book because my text didn’t do them justice. Oivind is Norwegian but lives here, so I suppose that makes him a Norstolian, and he has a peculiarly Norstolian vision of the world that comes through in his strange and wonderful pictures.
He did the most fantastic cover illustration for the Bristol Review of Books, showing Chatterton and a wrecking ball, so the Esteemed Publisher signed him up. Which was rather brilliant.
Are you a Grumbelicious Groan, an Eco-Worrier or a Lean Mean Green Machine?
Like many people, I’m a bit of a mixture. Yes, I’ll squidge rotting cucumber out of its plastic sheath into the brown bin, and yes I ride a bike whenever I can, but in other ways I’m quite Groanish. I refuse to buy products which are vastly overpriced because they’re being marketed as Organic Chic, and I can’t bring myself to give up having a car. As for being an Eco-Worrier, I’m afraid that’s my natural condition.
What's next for you?
I’m going into hiding to escape the mob of angry parents outside my front door. To placate them I suppose there’s always the sequel: Parents’ Revenge – Now it’s the Kids’ Turn for the Green Treatment! (the title needs work).
Interview by Joe Spurgeon, November 2007
